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Righto. I'd intended to send this in the last weekend of November and then in the first weekend of December. I think the overwork of the lockdown and no actual leaves has gotten to me. 

It seems very likely that this state of affairs at work will continue. This whole thing of working hard and not only blurring but totally eliminating that thing we knew as work-life balance. Heh. And I think it is high time I learn to space things out for myself. At first, I was working on weekends. Then I was working a little less on weekends but doing a whole bunch of other things (driving to the outskirts of the city rehoming dogs, taking art classes, learning a new language), then came the part where I didn't work on weekends but kept doing things that made me happy - cooking my heart out, keeping myself busy with craft things and what not and now I'm at the part where, yeah, I'm doing a couple of hours of work on the weekend, yes. But I have ZERO energy or enthusiasm to do anything else.

That explains why you didn't get this dispatch last month. Hell, on some Saturdays, I don't even feel like cooking. And just sit around on my sofa, come evening.

No, this isn't meant to be a depressing piece of writing. I just think I've done this for years on end - set expectations for myself way too high. Food and this newsletter are a couple of them. But what's the point of doing them if they were meant to make you happy and end up being a ton of pressure? That's why despite everybody telling me I should go pro with the food was something that never appealed to me. My day job gives me enough $$ to sustain. I'd need to be making atleast as much or more out of cooking if I wanted to go full-time with this. Add to that the pressure of having to make a certain amount of money from something that I do to detox. I don't make any money off this newsletter. I do it purely because it helps me learn more.

 A small part of me wants to keep at this, it does. And, so I will. Even if I can't send one out every 4 weeks. Once a quarter, perhaps? Shorter perhaps? More interesting content? I dunno. Maybe you can help me and tell me what you want to read?

[I have ideas for the next 6 months. But then, I didn't know the lockdown would happen. And I didn't know it'd turn so many of our lives inside out - emotionally, mentally, physically. I still absolutely LOVE having not having to socialize. But I guess it's just that Mondays through Fridays leave me sooooo tired, a two-day weekend when I'm stressed about the 5 days that went by and the 5 days to come aren't really leaving me any time for things I like to do. It's a problem I need to fix for myself, I understand. But doesn't hurt to just put it out there. At the risk of sounding like a goddamned freak, I don't want to lose another 18 months to neuritis. I don't.]

I genuinely hope you guys understand. I'm also genuinely sorry I can't do this as regularly as I hoped I would be able to. It's more of a let down for me than it is for anybody else. Hehe. But hit me up with what you'd like to read, okay? Maybe a little bit of a change n format is also what this space needs. :)

Cook your bloody hearts out!
Eat well and stay safe, you guys!
Until next time, nom nom!
[see, what I did there, I will come back with another newsletter, I promise... I just need time. Sometimes, we all do. :)]

- Meha
Two books that I'm reading (hardly). I've been stuck on them for months. And all (grand) plans of finishing reading them before the end of the year will remain just plans.
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