DECEMBER 15, 2020
NO. SERIOUSLY. THEY’RE GOOD (I’M NOT.)
What’s up <<First Name>>?
It’s been a while since I last wrote. The leaves are off the trees. The Xmas decorations are up. The menorah has almost set the curtains on fire 53 times. My mail-in election vote is still tucked into the pocket of those corduroys I can’t find. (Did you ever notice there has never been a serial murderer called “The Corduroy Killer?” That’s because people would always hear them coming. Swijush. Swijush. (Then again, my friend Mags has always wondered how anyone died at the hands of The Mummy. He was slow and moaned. You could turn around and flick a match at him and it was over. Kind of like Brendan Fraser’s career. (Mags needs a job.(So does Brendan (Mags and I had a friend named Brendan. He would say things like “Don’t cook anything spicy. How about Cajun?” (Again, Brendan needs a job.)))))
Wow. I got lost up there. Which is almost like exactly the reason why I haven’t written to you Beloved Bills Backers Bastards (Big hand clap fooor uuuhhhh-literation!), Ya see, I am always looking for new angles for these missives. I am researching all things Bills. So when I found what I thought was a boisterous site of all things Bills Mafia, I dove in. It turns out onlyfans.com is not exactly a sports site. But I looked and looked for anything I could reference. I went down some rabbit holes (and I would like to borrow some money) but there was nothing there.
While I was burrowing, the Bills played some amazing football. People became Billievers. People learned to trust the process (which doesn’t always work out on onlyfans.com or in any Brendan Fraser movie). The Bills beat the Niners and the Steelers. We are 4-0 against “er” teams (I can’t wait until we play some “ing” teams. Oh we did. We played (and beat) the f’ing Patriots!).
So all this craziness has allowed to Bills to have yet another National TV game.... NOT just for only fans but everyone gets to see the Herd again .... this Saturday at 4:30 PM! And guess what? Firefly will be hosting us! Just us. The only fans of the Bills in C’ville (and in surrounding areas composing the Metro Statistical Area).
Please RSVP to attend as always (by Friday at 6 PM) and make sure to bring your face mask and wear it the whole time when you are not eating or drinking!
See ya then,