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I’ve done more than 50 talks since my book came out in April, and I often think about the impression I’ve left behind. What am I really saying? What do I hope people take away from our conversations? I often speak about inclusion, empathy and, of course, kindness. I also speak about how many of us are craving a more human style of leadership and that leaders don’t have to choose between kindness and strength. That last one is the key message of The Myth of the Nice Girl.

What’s your message? As the holiday season approaches, and you’re socializing and connecting with more people, have your own sound bites at the ready. What do you want the other person to leave knowing about you? 

For my latest Refinery29 column, I helped one reader advocate for herself and put forth the case for a promotion by encouraging her to develop these key sound bites to weave into the conversation. You know what? It worked (read her story). Forget the elevator pitch. People want to know: What makes you tick? What do you care about? And what are you hoping to do about it in the future?

TIP / Boredom May Be the Key to Brilliance

Linda Sawyer was cleaning her kitchen when inspiration struck. She realized that the “unsightly, germ-laden” sponge had never had a makeover, she told Entrepreneur. That eureka moment led her and her cofounder Alison Matz to leave the corporate world to launch Skura Style, an e-commerce startup that makes new and improved sponges. (I love them so much I invested!) Sometimes brilliance can be unlocked in the act of doing the mundane.

My Startup Life

Portfolio news: The cost of childcare keeps so many women out of the workforce. That’s why this news from The Wing is so impactful. They’re launching The Little Wing, a space designed for kids to play so their parents can take flight. I’m so proud to be an investor and founding member. 

Pitch me: Want to win $10,000 for your startup? I’m a judge at this year’s We Talks competition, where ten female founded early-stage startups will compete for cash grants and professional services. Apply here!

What I'm Passionate About

November is National Adoption Month and the perfect time to highlight, a fantastic organization I advise that gives grants to people who want to adopt but can’t afford the upfront costs. I met their founder Becky when I worked at PEOPLE magazine and she was featured in Heroes Among Us. It's a cause close to my heart as both of my incredible sons are adopted. Here’s how to help:

On My Radar

  • Come to my session on building positive workplace culture at the Girlboss Rally in NYC on November 18. Elaine Welteroth, Sallie Krawcheck, and more amazing women will be there. Use code NICE-GIRLS for 20 percent off your registration. 
  • I love this new Instagram column @underhercoat from my friend @deniserestauri, where she shares stories that are “hiding under our coats.”
  • Breakfast, books, and mBolden—join a fireside chat on November 13 about The Myth of the Nice GirlRSVP here (you'll get a copy of my book, too!). 
  • The Muse listed the 9 highest-rated career books of 2018 according to Goodreads—The Myth of the Nice Girl is in the top 3. Thank you for the reviews!
  • Buy this book: I'm so happy Woman’s Day shared my adoption story from Bill Shapiro’s new book, What We Keep
And, if you have a friend who would love to join our newsletter circle, tell them to sign up here. If you want a sample of my book, take a listen. And, as always, email me with ideas.
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