Tapping inner resources using the Nurtured Heart Approach®
I believe each of us has unique gifts to share with the world. I want to:
  • inspire leaders, parents, caregivers and educators
  • celebrate inner resources, and
  • share the journey of learning and living the Nurtured Heart Approach®.
I recently read Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive by Marc BrackettIn this issue I summarize key ideas from the book and relate them to the Nurtured Heart Approach. My newsletter nuggets and resources are intended to be useful to any NHA practitioner. This is NOT a substitute for NHA training. Subscribe now!
Become an "Emotion Scientist"
Marc Brackett is the Founding Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence where they've coined the term "emotion scientist." He argues that adults must learn that emotions matter so that we can pass emotional intelligence skills on to children.
His team introduced the acronym RULER, an evidence based approach to social emotional learning (SEL) that outlines the five skills emotion scientists use: 
  • recognize our own emotions and those of others, not just in the things we think, feel, and say but in facial expressions, body language, vocal tones, and other nonverbal signals.
  • understand those feelings and determine their source – what experiences actually caused them – and then see how they’ve influenced our behaviors.
  • label emotions with a nuanced vocabulary.
  • express our feelings in accordance with cultural norms and social context in a way that tries to inform and invites empathy from the listener.
  • regulate emotions, rather than let them regulate us, by finding practical strategies for dealing with what we and others feel. (p. 19)
Most people are drawn to the Nurtured Heart Approach as a way to build relationships with youth; we ultimately find that we need to use the Approach on ourselves and practice inner NHA. Similarly, Brackett found that in order to raise emotion scientists, adults need to hone the skills outlined above. He offers the Mood Meter as a tool for tuning into the energy and pleasantness of feelings as we notice and name them.

Use the Mood Meter to consider your energy and the pleasantness of your emotions when you're asked, "How are you feeling?" and share the Mood Meter with others (also available as an app).

"Emotional intelligence doesn't allow feelings to get in the way – it does just the opposite. It restores balance to our thought processes; it prevents emotions from having undue influence over our actions; and it helps us to realize that we might be feeling a certain way for a reason." (p. 54)
A Meta-Moment = Reset
Regulating emotions is defined as the way in which individuals manage the emotions they have, and when and how they experience and express these emotions.
"Emotion regulation is not about not feeling. Neither is it exerting tight control over what we feel. And it's not about banishing negative emotions and feeling only positive ones. Rather, emotion regulation starts with giving ourselves and others the permission to own our feelings – all of them." (p. 145)

Regulation is the most challenging of the RULER skills, and among the regulation strategies Brackett offers is the Meta-Moment which I see as form of reset. Just as in NHA, if we practice pausing to reset or take meta-moments where we give ourselves a moment to process a moment, we can rewire ourselves toward more deliberate and helpful responses when highly activated. I've outlined steps for a meta-moment next to the spark below.
In addition to outlining the meta-moment, Bracket shares additional strategies for regulation including: mindful breathing, forward-looking strategies, attention-shifting strategies, and cognitive-reframing strategies. 

We are encouraged in NHA, when emotionally flooded, to view emotions as energy and to notice how they arise in the body. When we get present with our feelings we can move that energy into supporting higher intentions.
I learned about this book on Brené Brown's Unlocking Us podcast. Researchers are working tirelessly to share findings to help us break through barriers to access our best selves. 
"Emotion skills are the key to unlocking the potential inside each one of us. And in the process of developing these skills, we each, heart by heart, mind by mind, create a culture and society unlike anything we've experienced thus far – and very much like the one we might dare to imagine." (p. 241)
Three moms, Melanie Gretsch, Lindsey Strasberg, and Melissa Lowenstein, join up with Howard Glasser to reflect on the emotional flooding that accompanies child rearing, the science that explains dysregulation, and strategies to feel our way through the challenges.

From the jacket: "This book is a journey toward mastering our own intensity. Through that mastery, we are supported to channel the intensity of children in our care into fuel for greatness."
Claiming My Greatness
Passion, purpose, responsiveness, creativity, reflection, resourcefulness and eagerness to serve!
Please let me know how I can support you
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Contact Paula

Nurtured Heart Approach
Certification Training Intensive
with Howard Glasser
July 19-24, 2020
Prerequisite: 6 hour introduction which I can provide online (3 hours on your own time, 3 hours with me).
The Nurtured Heart Approach is copyrighted material belonging to Howard Glasser and the Children's Success Foundation.
As stated above, the material in this newsletter is not a substitute for NHA training.
Copyright © Paula Wick, PhD. 2020 SHINE FROM WITHIN CONSULTING, All rights reserved.
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