First off, we tend to treat listening as this passive thing we do (or don’t have to do?) when the other is talking. We look at it as ‘let them talk, while I can think about my ‘groceries shopping list’’.
Second, we prefer to tell our story rather than listen to someone else’s. Why? Because when you're telling your story you're more involved, you recreate the events, which makes you also re-experience some of the feelings and memories, which, in turn, makes you so involved in the story.
Third, we’re human. We can only focus for a little while, because we cannot help but pay attention to everything that’s going on around us. Yes, focus is the opposite of attention. Focus requires a lot of effort and you pushing every distraction aside. Focus happens especially when you’re in flow, ‘in the zone’, because that’s when you’re engaged, involved, motivated.