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WELCOME
I must know. 
Hey y'all. how we all going? Nuts af? Will and I are at the 'judging each other's work ethic' stage of co-iso. I've demanded we switch offices, as he is open plan, and I am in a room. At first I thought it was great, cos I got all the privacy and felt important, like he is my EA you have to go through (I use this joke daily, never gets old!), but it means at 5.01pm (I use the time loosely) he's still working out in the open ether when it is time for me to watch My Stories. To the bedroom with a hard slam of the door you go! 
In other news, how was everyone's Easter slash Pesach? Mine was lazy af. I didn't mind. I ordered in my Jew food (mmm, gefilte), smashed a bit of Morning Wars (The Morning Show in the USA - guys, it's really good), ate a lot of chocolate, bought a house, planning my virtual wedding on Saturday. Just keeping it all super casual. It's good now my ads have gone from cheapo pyjamas to kitchens and appliances. I don't understand it, but I like making Pinterest boards about it and can't wait for some magical money to pay for it all. Can't wait to show y'all the new bathroom in mah homeee. It's that hideous pink tile, but we're just gonna lean into it before we eventually reno. I'm thinking flamingo wall paper, neon signs, ostentatious gold railings. Showering's gonna be a blast - of pink! We move in July - who knows where the world at by then? 
So, in this issue, I've got heaps of activities to take your mind off things - a quiz on your thoughts on Tiger King, a round up of The Best Oscars Gowns of All Time to satisfy the fashion judging we've been craving, quizzes on movies to watch and the type of dog person you are, book and song suggestions, and some wonderful married guest stars who work hard and play hard. Only in Edition 2 of The Flock! Happy reading during wfh time!

QUICK NOTE: Some links to blog articles will take you to my site with a pink background saying 'click to go to another site'. This is being rectified, just ignore and scroll down on the site for the article. Let me know if any probs! :)
TV TALK
K guys. We've all binged Tiger King, let's be real. Tell us your views! Who is the most evil? Who belongs in jail? Make your thoughts count on The Flock's not super exclusive survey HERE. Results in next edition! But seriously. F*ck Jeff Lowe. He stole the zoo! 

Now. Since we have clocked TV, this chat is gonna focus around some films that are themed around the end of days. But wait - not negative. Like, I don't want to be watching Contagion mate, I'm living it. But there's end of days movies that are funny, and dare I say it, uplifting, and might make you feel better about humanity. Or make you laugh while it's on in the background while you're back in you 2009 account of Words With Friends. (Side note: I enjoy writing, and playing, yet lose EVERY.SINGLE.GAME. Am I like that person who makes you come to their band cos they think they're good but they actually suck??) Point is, I don't know your life, this is mine. So if you're wondering what to watch, have a glance at the
Top 10 End Of World Movies That Aren't Too Depressing for your homebound viewing pleasure. 
DEAR MISS MAPLE

Got a problem that needs solving? Miss. Maple from HR is here to save the day. 
Dear Miss. Maple,
I really want to get a dog, especially during "this time that shall not be named", but my partner isn't keen. What should I do? What's wrong with him? 
Signed, Anon. 

Dear Anon,
Yes, I've met this kind before. People who don't want to pat me, cuddle me, or relish in my cuteness. They' strange. You know, my owner once used to be one of these. The best thing to do is to see where your partner sits on this scale I created - How To Judge People According To Where They Sit On The Dog Scale.  You need to match, you see - at the moment you may be an 8, and your partner sounds like a 3. What does this mean? Well, have a read - it includes everyone's favourite things - judging people, cute pictures, and feeling superior. You'll get all the info you need on your partner and whether you need to ditch him from there. 
Miss. Maple
W̶I̶N̶E̶, I MEAN, BOOK CLUB!
Nobody read my book, DID THEY? Jokes on you, it was amaze. It is okay I have another book that is the same with a different title:'THE GIRL BEFORE', by J.P Delaney. Let me know if you read it and I'll make a book club quiz thing. BYO $3 Aldi brie. Also, it's gonna be a movie so then we can watch that and d̶r̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶e̶ ̶ discuss. 
FASHUN CORNER. LET'S TALK...
BEST OSCARS GOWNS
So, those of us into fashunnn (not to be mistaken with wearing FASHIONABLE CLOTHING. I slept in this) are obviously dismayed at the lack of red carpet action RN. No MET, no Cannes, no prestigious Logies to judge from afar and scream "That's not MET, Heidi! FFS! You just don't get the MET theme like I do!" while shoving another handful of twisties in my mouth. What is one meant to distract themselves with? Football? Oh, wait...
So, since there is nothing new, let's go old school, in my newly compiled, totally-biased list with added bonus fun pics of the TOP 20 OSCARS DRESSES OF ALL TIME. Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry, Imma keep playing these cats out like Atari. Unsure what Atari is, but I am available for rap covers if and when needed. PM me. Word.
WHAT THE F*CK DOES A ... ACTUALLY DO? 
Each month, let's investigate a career we might know the title of, but have zero idea how they fill their 9-5 (and to my friend Megan, no, it's not all just 'being on the computer'). This month, let's find out - what the f*ck does a Director of Business Support actually do? - with resident Director of Business Support (?) from Sharp and Carter Recruitment, Zoe Raphael slash Schofield!
What's your 9-5?
I am a Director of Business Support at Sharp & Carter.

You sound important. Tell me more.
I manage a team of 5 recruitment consultants and we act as the intermediary between businesses and connecting them with high calibre talent. 

Fancy. Do you have to be corporate-brand?
Yes, I like to dress corporately, however we have the flexibility to dress for our audience. There’s not a one size fits all rule on what defines “corporate” when meeting candidates and clients I like to dress how I would expect someone coming to an interview to dress. 

How does your job work in iso? 
Work has been really supportive during iso. Prior to Covid-19 we were all set up on laptops anyway and would typically do one day a week from home. We are able to use Zoom or Teams to facilitate interviews with clients and candidates and can speak to people over the phone all day with my mobile. We try and keep a routine as a team, have daily goals and check in calls which helps keep up motivation. Also stating team Zoom PT Sessions. For some reason I even suggested that haha!

Same...(wakes up from nap at 2pm...) So, is your life motto still eat, sleep, recruit, repeat?
🤣🤣 Glad you have remembered! Fits in well in iso times if we add in eat, sleep, bake, puzzles, recruit, repeat. 

Are you and your husband inappropriate in the office? Do you call him Mr. Schofield?
Luckily, we are in seperate offices when not iso life. He’s based in Wheelers Hill and I’m in the CBD. I haven’t changed my surname at work so still known as 'Raph' externally. 

Best and worst part of the gig? 
Love helping people find their dream jobs! Worst part is current iso. Miss being on the pod with my team all week. Banter is usually on point where we’re all together!
ACTIVITIES YAY!
Kay, so they're out of jigsaws at Kmart, and online trivia is only fun for so long when you realise it all comes back to obscure AFL references. Why not do my 2018 quiz from when I worked at a certain film company on WHICH 2018 BEST PICTURE NOMINEE SHOULD YOU SEE? Is this old and pre-made? Yes. Was this so I didn't have to create new content? Also yes. But hey, these movies were up for Best Picture so you know they're good. Quiz away! 
$HARES WITH $CHOEY
Welcome Adam Schofield, golf lover, b-gen speaker, and Investor Extraordinaire!!
Scho, hiii!
Sooooo good to be here hun and thanks for having me!

I'm interested in you already.
Yep. So...a share is a unit of ownership in a company, when investing in the Australian market these companies will be listed on the ASX (Australian Securities Exchange). Easiest way to get started is to download the CommSec app and create an account which is free to set up. From there, I would suggest setting up a “watch list” where you can monitor the share price of each company you’re considering investing in.

But how do I know what should be on my watch list? 
Worthwhile of thinking of industries or companies that are set up to perform well through the COVID saga (Coles, pharmaceutical) or that will bounce back quickly that are cheap (Webjet, Qantas etc).
Try not to sell within 12 months of buying - pay more Capital Gains tax if so.

Why do I wanna do it? Cbf, I have two eps left to watch of Morning Wars.
The concept is simply buying at a certain price and hopefully selling your share for a higher price in what you bought that for - as well as being eligible for dividends (distributions) on their profits each reporting period (every 6 months).

So...what should I be doing?
Cliche saying is “buy low, sell high” and the corona-virus pandemic has fast forwarded the steep dip we were already expecting across the global markets. For some, now can be a great opportunity to snap up some cheaper shares given they’ve fallen over the past 3-4 weeks, but I still think there is still an element of risk given the uncertainty and whether the market has bottomed out for now. Quick advice would be:
  • When buying you need to be thinking a medium to long term investment (Don’t spend cash that you will need in the next 2-3 years).
  • Share prices will naturally rise and fall but you never want to feel pressured to sell at a loss if you need to access the money. 
  • In the beginning, stay away from “Small cap” stocks or friends telling you they have a “hot tip”. Yes you may get lucky but a lot of risk in the process 
  • Diversify your portfolio as best you can which may mean investing in 3-5 different businesses and not investing all of your eggs into one basket 
What do I need to get started?
Minimum investment is $500 plus $30 transaction fee through commsec

So it's like gambling. Red or black?
I'm always black. 
I like a man with a strong opinion. See me in my office, alone.

On an excitement level, is watching the share market: like watching paint dry (1) -like watching your Uber eats driver en route (1 to me, 10 to Will)  or like watching Taylor Swift's reputation tour on repeat (11/10).
For me, I check the ASX daily so I would rate watching it a good 7 or 8 / 10. 

Get started on CommSec here. 
*No affiliate. Would be great if they wanted to tho. Would froth selling out. 
RANTING AND RAVING
This month, I'm annoyed with: Netflix and Stan. We need new Younger and Good Girls people, and we need them NOW. Wtf else are you doing? You guys are ESSENTIAL SERVICES!
Loving: No Time To Die by Billie Eilish. On repeat. What a song! Might even make me watch Craig as the shittest Bond ever. 
Hating: Out internet dropping out. Like, are you kidding me? Couples will kill each other without it. 
CUTE AF
This month's Cute AF is brought to you by Willow, the resident pet of reader Gab Redgrave. Gab seems to think Willow is loving her being home. I don't know, Gab. Dogs do. cats are like, beat it. But whatever gets you through. 
PIC OF THE MONTH
Stay tuned for next month, featuring: 
  • Best Cannes Gowns of All Time, All Time, feat. Lauren Pinchen
  • The Murse: An In-depth Investigation
  • Best Shows To Watch in Iso
  • Best Crime To Get Into Cos You Seedy AF
  • The Home Iso Quiz
  • And more, only in The Flock!
Thanks for reading! If you'd like to be featured, contact me here.
Quick favour, if you're thinking of forwarding to a friend, can you get them to subscribe instead? That way I can keep track of who's reading and tailor content. Also, massive ego boost.
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