Blanks of Time
Dear <<First Name>>,
February is almost over. It's weird to me that March starts on Sunday and it's a leap year! Leap years are even stranger than a new month. They supposedly come once every four years, but it feels like once a decade, like a fever dream - a reminder that the way we mark time isn't exactly marked into 12 months or 365 days. It's different.
Getting floxed was like that for me, too. It was a fever dream, a strange passage of time.
As I may have mentioned earlier, neurotoxicity was my worst symptom. I'm combining my full-body numbness, brain fog, panic attacks, horror nightmares, and memory loss under this large neurotoxicity label. These symptoms technically have other names, but they're all related to the brain.
I remember very little from the first year I was floxed. To be fair, for most of it, I was asleep. My serious mitochondria damage gave me the roughest fatigue in the world so that I spent the majority of my time in bed reading Harry Potter, covered in magnesium oil, and drinking round upon rounds of antioxidant-rich juice like tart cherry, cranberry, and blueberry juice.
However, it felt like I lost time from my life. Once the worst symptoms were over, this floaty, dreamlike existence returned to a normal state of consciousness and I woke up to find that a year of my life was gone.
I imagine this is what it's like to wake up from a coma. You go to sleep for a very long time and then wake up to find that you and everyone around you has aged, your favorite coffee shop closed 5 months ago, and you moved to a city on the other side of the country.
Even now it still feels weird to me that I am the age that I am. I always feel like the numbers are wrong and thanks to Fluoroquinolone Toxicity, I age faster, too. I'm still struggling with fatigue (although to be fair, I got mono last year so that could be partially to blame) and I have new wrinkles that may not be there had I not been floxed.
The thing is that the passage of time has always been strange. Some people say it goes by faster as you get older anyway, that the rules society creates for us don't exactly match reality... like the whole leap year thing. It's not an exact science. Anyway, enjoy the holiday that only comes once every 4 years and go with the flow!
Have a great weekend!
Floxie, Director, and Producer of 'Floxed'