[Image of Carl]

Welcome to Newsletter #68

A bunch of tales I wanted to share with you

A tale I read

Haiku No 4 by John Cooper Clarke
[Haiku No 4 by John Cooper Clarke]

A tale I heard

Comedian Frank Skinner on his first ever job:

“I was expelled from school and my first job was for Hughes-Johnson’s Stampings, a drop-forgings firm where massive hammers banged red-hot pieces of metal into shape. Although I spent some time on the factory floor, I was mainly in the drawing office, which was a lot safer, and my first wage was £6.40.

The thing I remember most was a huge pile of ear protectors and hard hats. Our health and safety officer came in and said: “I can’t believe what’s going on here, nobody wears them!” Everybody had two or three fingers missing, was deaf and shouted at each other. I thought it was because of the noise of the hammers but when I went to the pub at lunchtime they were still all shouting at each other.”

A tale I saw

Eddie Don't Like Furniture by John Hegley
[Eddie Don't Like Furniture by John Hegley]

A tale I wrote

If I had an extra arm,
I’d use it to pull all of my fingers out.

If I had an extra leg,
I’d kick myself up the

If I had an extra heart,
I'd follow at least one of them.

If I had an extra head,
I’d eat two pizzas at the same time.

A tail I like

[A tail I like]
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