A tale I heard
Billy Connelly talking about a walk down Bournemouth beach during a day off:
"It was winter and I was walking along in my little jacket and I hear a guy running behind me. ‘Billy! Billy’. I thought: ‘Oh, Christ, I thought I was on my own’. I turned around and it was an older guy, probably the age I am now, with a little boy. He goes ‘Billy! Billy! Billy!’ and the boy, I’ll never forget, was called Gavin. The man was Scottish and the boy was English, must’ve been his grandad, he says: ‘Will you give Gavin your autograph?’ I said: ‘Sure, no worries’ and wrote: ‘To Gavin, best wishes, Billy Connelly’ and they walked away, and I went off on my walk.
And then I hear him behind me again and thought ‘Oh Christ, they’re back.’ ‘Billy! Billy!’ he says. ‘Look, Gavin’s giving me brain damage here. Can you tell him to fuck off?’ I said: ‘What?!’ He says: ‘Gavin wants you to tell him to fuck off.’ So I said: ‘Ok, Gavin, give me your book.’ And I wrote: ‘Fuck off, Gavin.’ I shut the book and said: ‘Now fuck off!’ and he went: ‘YEEESSS!!!’"