[Image of Carl]

Welcome to Newsletter #30

A bunch of tales I wanted to share with you

A tale I read

Two Quick Tips by A.F. Harrold
[Two Quick Tips by A.F. Harrold]

A tale I heard

Billy Connelly talking about a walk down Bournemouth beach during a day off:

"It was winter and I was walking along in my little jacket and I hear a guy running behind me. ‘Billy! Billy’. I thought: ‘Oh, Christ, I thought I was on my own’. I turned around and it was an older guy, probably the age I am now, with a little boy. He goes ‘Billy! Billy! Billy!’ and the boy, I’ll never forget, was called Gavin. The man was Scottish and the boy was English, must’ve been his grandad, he says: ‘Will you give Gavin your autograph?’ I said: ‘Sure, no worries’ and wrote: ‘To Gavin, best wishes, Billy Connelly’ and they walked away, and I went off on my walk.

And then I hear him behind me again and thought ‘Oh Christ, they’re back.’ ‘Billy! Billy!’ he says. ‘Look, Gavin’s giving me brain damage here. Can you tell him to fuck off?’ I said: ‘What?!’ He says: ‘Gavin wants you to tell him to fuck off.’ So I said: ‘Ok, Gavin, give me your book.’ And I wrote: ‘Fuck off, Gavin.’ I shut the book and said: ‘Now fuck off!’ and he went: ‘YEEESSS!!!’"

A tale I saw

Five Minutes by Scroobius Pip
[Five Minutes by Scroobius Pip]

A tale I wrote

Gerald decided to only drink tea directly from a teapot. He told his wife he’d always been looking for a ‘thing’. Some people had football, some people had trivia, others had cooking or dyed hair, or wrestling t-shirts, or drawing, or collecting fridge magnets from every city they visited. While that was their ‘thing’, Gerald’s ‘thing’ was now drinking tea directly from a teapot. “It certainly makes you stand out,” said his wife, as she chugged on her hip flask.  

A tail I like

[A tail I like]
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