A tale I heard
Elbow frontman Guy Garvey telling a story about his brother’s mate whose boss let him use his house in France during a tricky time:
"My brother’s an actor, his mate’s an out of work actor making ends meet in an office job. And his boss likes him, takes pity on him and he says: ‘Why don’t you go to my place in the South of France, I’ve got a really nice place. Go and have yourself a bit of a holiday, get your head together, and come back to work. You won’t see anybody out there, maybe the cleaning lady.’
So he decides to do that. And when he gets to the house, it’s been a long journey and he needs a poo. So he goes and has a massive poo, and when he’s in the middle of it he hears the French cleaning lady arrive, this old French lady, and he’s like ‘this is just my luck’. So he says: ‘Bonjour!’ He hasn’t got much French. This is an absolutely true story. And then he stands up, sorts himself out, flushes the chain and it won’t go anywhere. And he’s, like, at the end of his tether ‘I don’t believe this.’ And he tries it again and again and it won’t flush.
He decides to meet the situation with a bit of fortitude and he goes downstairs and he takes this lady by the hand and says: ‘Madame, regarde…’ And he takes her upstairs and he shows her that it won’t flush. He goes to show her that this enormous poo won’t flush. But it does… "