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[Image of Carl]

Welcome to Newsletter #94

A bunch of tales I wanted to share with you

A tale I read

Haiku for Doomed Youth by Brian Bilston
[Haiku for Doomed Youth by Brian Bilston]

A tale I heard

A fellow Glastonbury Festival goer, called Karl, talking about our names:

"You're Carl with a C? I'm Karl with a K! Haha... Do you ever get post to that effect? You know, like I've had countless letters addressed to Mr Witherkay. As in, they fucking think my surname is 'with a K'. I shit you not! My wife's maiden name is Puddle and she used to get post to Mrs Puddle Likewater. Haha. I'm serious!" 

A tale I saw

Blank by Jake Wild Hall
[Blank by Jake Wild Hall]

A tale I wrote


5 ATTEMPTS AT WRITING A HAPPY POEM

ONE
All of the humans died.
But because all of them died,
there was no one around to be sad.
Which was nice.

TWO
Jilly woke up approximately
24 hours late for her Friday morning meeting,
which meant…
It was SATURDAAAAAAAAAAY!

She was, of course,
called up and fired,
which meant…
A lie in on MONDAAAAAAAAAAY!

THREE
A kitten was born
that could speak English.
It was amazing!
It went door-to-door reassuring cat owners
that independence is a search
for freedom from control,
not freedom from love.

FOUR
Cadbury invented healthy chocolate
that tasted exactly like chocolate
and made you skinnier and prettier.
But people didn’t bow to the pressure
to be “perfect” and bought more
happy fat bars.
YEAH!

FIVE
After nine hundred and thirty million
five hundred and thirty four thousand
seven hundred and sixty two listens,
Pharrell Williams was still pretty happy.

A tail I like

[A tail I like]
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