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[Image of Carl]

Welcome to Newsletter #23

A bunch of tales I wanted to share with you

A tale I read

Full-time Loser by Dr John Cooper Clarke
[Full-time Loser by Dr John Cooper Clarke]

A tale I heard

Matthew Perry talking about why he initially wasn't allowed to take the role of Chandler Bing in the sitcom Friends:

"My business manager had called me – this was in 1994 – and this is what a terrible business manager he was, he called me one day and said: ‘Matthew, you’ve got no money.’ I was like: ‘How about a bit of warning?! I’ve got rent to pay!’ So, I called my agent and said: ‘You’ve gotta get me any job, any job you can.’ And this happened to be the year that Friends was shot, but I was off the market because I had taken a job on a pilot called LAX 2194 that was about baggage handlers at the LA airport… in the year 2194. I was wearing a futuristic shirt and little people played the aliens and I had to sort out the aliens’ luggage. That was basically the show.

So, then a script came out, at the time it was called
Friends Like Us, and it was hilarious and great and there was a part that seemed perfect for me and it was making me so mad that I couldn’t go up for it because of the baggage handler show! I was losing my mind and then finally somebody at Fox said: ‘We’ve seen this, it’s the worst thing we’ve seen in our lives, he is available, you can hire him for your little show called Friends Like Us.’"

A tale I saw

Essex Lion by Luke Wright
[Essex Lion by Luke Wright]

A tale I wrote


Vincent did a massive poo at work.
It stank.
At the point of impact, four colleagues entered the room.
Vincent refused to leave the cubicle out of embarrassment.
Once they disappeared, three more entered.
Followed by one guy.
Then two.
Then six.
Then 13 (during lunch of the health and safety course).
Then four more.
Then two.
This went on for several weeks.

A tail I like

[Image of a tail I like]
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