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Hello! Welcome to “Ashley Explains It All,” my brand-spanking-new newsletter. It’s something I’ve started to get — and stay — connected with you. 
Grab on to your butts and let’s get to it!
ASHLEY EXPLAINS: How to Become a Fan of Reality TV
 
  1. Be depressed.
  2. Go to a therapist.
  3. Notice that your therapist’s office is decorated like the Montessori school you attended when you were a child.
  4. Ah… Montessori school, a noble effort that resulted in you entering the public school system not knowing how to read.
  5. But! You did have a mud hole that you loved! And you churned that mud every dang day during recess and sold clumps of it to your classmates for Nature Money.
  6. (Nature Money = rocks, sticks, cool leaves)
  7. Suddenly, your therapist says, “find something that you can enjoy. Something to be interested in… a guilty pleasure of sorts.”
  8. Come home to your significant other and decide that you will test out their interests.
  9. Like wearing clothes with tags on them to make sure you feel comfortable enough to commit before you snip.
  10. Realize most of their “guilty pleasures” do nothing for you.   
  11. You’re not into sneakers.
  12. You’re not into hats.
  13. You think you’re interested in battle rap, but after a few hours you realize you hate it.
  14. Hmmm…
  15. And then, as you both lose hope that you’ll ever be interested in anything again, have them suggest The Challenge on MTV.
  16. Real World/Road Rules Challenge?
  17. Yes, that’s the one, but now it’s just called The Challenge.
  18. Get very into The Challenge.
  19. Realize it’s the best! And how dare anyone question that!
  20. Watch all the seasons before the one currently airing.
  21. Create a Reddit account so you can have long talks with other Challenge fans about, well, The Challenge.
  22. Decide reality TV isn’t so bad.
  23. Live your life without judgement.
ASHLEY EXPLAINS: UPCOMING SHOWS
 

Standing Tall: Comedy From 2 People Of Above Average Height
November 21st at 8pm at Halyards in Brooklyn 

Matt Koff (writer for The Daily Show and hilarious stand-up comedian) and I are running our half hours at this cozy venue. Julia Johns is hosting! It's going to be so fun.

Halyards is here
DC Draft House
December 1st and 2nd

I'll be featuring for Emily Heller all weekend in our nation's capital. Come and we will save the country together. 

Get tickets here
FRESH OUT!
Every Thursday at 9pm at the UCB East
 
The only standup comedy show in New York City! Jim Tews and I host our favorite performers once a week at the beloved East Village location.

Get tickets here.
ASHLEY EXPLAINS: SOCIAL MEDIA
(PLEASE FOLLOW ME, IT BRINGS ME JOY)
 
F.A.Q.s
 
Q: What’s going on here?
A: I started a thing.
 
Q: Why’d I receive this?
A: Well, I am slightly disorganized as a person and over the years I’ve assured certain people that when I started a mailing list, I’d make sure they received it. But for reasons that escape me, I don't have a master list of people that would like to hear from me. So, I thought I’d cast a big net, email almost everyone I’ve ever had contact with and then let the little fishy that don’t want to party swim away. If you’re looking for a hole in the net, it’s at the bottom of this email (unsubscribe link).
 
Q: What was that picture about from the first newsletter?
A: Oh, this one?


Q: Yes, that one. 
A: Allow me to introduce you to Ashley Abbott. She was a dynamic female character on The Yougtng and The Restless and I am partially named after her. My mom describes her as the “daughter of the richest man in town; beautiful, blonde.” JUST LIKE ME!

Q: Cool. Is this a weekly or bi-weekly newsletter?
A: Not sure yet. Stay tuned to find out! 
Copyright © 2017 Ashley Explains It All, All rights reserved.

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106 West Poplar Ave.
Carrboro, NC 27510

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Ashley Brooke Roberts · 106 West Poplar Ave. · Carrboro, NC 27510 · USA

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