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Hello, my dear.✨

Self-love is everywhere. It's in the shop window of the beauty store you pass. It's supposed to be in your mirror, your journal, the food you eat, and the exercise you do.

Here's the thing - I don't love myself. At least not in the way I love other people, my partner, my friends, or my family. What does self-love even mean? I think most people don't know for sure. It seems important, however, so many of us try hard without results. We try with bubble baths, love-letters to ourselves, self-care habits, and/or by quitting so-called bad habits.

In the end, after all the effort, we wonder why it's still not working. Many of us can't even accept, let alone love their bodies for example. Sometimes, we downright hate ourselves if we cannot live up to our own expectations once again, lose our temper, get drunk, skip the exercise and eat trash. Many of us are our own worst enemies at times and still, we pretend. We must love ourselves before we can love others is the name of the game.

Psychotherapist Seerut K. Chawla finally called BS on the otherwise unquestioned concept of self-love. The self-help industry teaches us to treat ourselves as someone we love but, as she points out, love waxes and wanes.🌗

Instead, she introduces a different concept - the one of self-responsibility which is a lot more tangible than self-love. Self-responsibility means to treat yourself like someone you're responsible for - no matter if you like it or not. It means you have to feed and water and walk yourself and it can involve traditional self-care. However, it doesn't come with the emotional burden or an expectation of how you're supposed to feel towards yourself at any given moment.

Last but not least, you can absolutely not love yourself and still love someone else with all your heart - I think most of us have been there and wonder how it worked out nevertheless.😉


We cannot control our feelings and whom we love or don't, even if it's ourselves. But we can decide to show up and take responsibility for our body and mind. Isn't that a lot more achievable goal?
 

Things I enjoyed in the past weeks:


🌼 Project: Illustrations of the Natural Orders of Plants by Nicholas Rougeux
This beautiful website is a complete digital reproduction of Elizabeth Twining’s two-volume catalog from 1868 called by the same name. Elizabeth Twining was a botanical illustrator, author, and philanthropist of the 19th century.  She wrote and illustrated many books about botany based on her natural observations. I could spend hours looking at all the beautiful illustrations.

🗞️ Article: Where The Five-Day Work Week Came From
If you ever asked yourself why most of us work Monday-Friday, 9-5, read this. While our 7-day weeks go back 4,000 years to Babylon, there's nothing natural about them - weeks are a man-made concept. Today, numerous studies support the obsolescence of 9-5 jobs, and since men made them, can't men also un-make them?🤷‍♀️

🍿Movie: Sound of Metal by Darius Marder
My partner and I loved everything about this movie. It's about a metal drummer who loses his hearing and how he learns to cope. It's gripping from the very first minute.

🕸️ Website: Webster's 1913 Dictionary online
Today's dictionaries mostly strive for simplicity. Whenever you need a more elaborate, thoughtful, and precise definition of a term though, turn to Webster's 1913 dictionary. I got this tip from Recomendo

🎬 Movie: Paterson by Jim Jarmusch
This is one of the slowest movies I ever saw, so don't watch it if you look for something dynamic & vibrant. Nevertheless, it's a beautiful movie and captures how art can unfold in mundane, everyday life.

Love,
Juli🖤

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